Well the proceedings got off to a lively start on 8th February. Like a good few of us, I’d never heard of Slam poetry before, and Rose brought forth enlightenment with her usual panache. On the 29th of this month we are having our very own Poetry Slam.

Contestants will face knock-out rounds of performance poetry. There’s a strict time limit of three minutes, otherwise Alison will swing her football rattle and the audience will be encouraged to berate the performer. This is inclusive of any preamble (or should that be pre-ramble?). There will be three independent judges who will judge the content of the poetry, the presentation (razor-edged performance?) and the audience’s response (cheers & applause exceeding boos & hissing?). Contestants with the least points will be knocked out from the next round and so on, until the final decider of 1st, 2nd and 3rd. Rose advised bringing at least three poems.

Ross’s Rural Riddles. I agree with Ross that it’s sad that a lot of colloquialisms are lost with passing generations due largely to the technical revolution in agriculture, with subsequent reduction of agricultural manpower; and globalisation of language and internet social media. To highlight this and give us a bit of craic, Ross gave us 20 examples of Scots dialect words harvested from his lifetime spent in farming circles.

We had 15 minutes to decide which of three options was the correct interpretation. A point for each correct answer (or in my case guess), with five bonus points if you could spot and give the true meaning of the Joker, where all three options where bogus. Cara and George W (no’ Bush), correctly identified merkin as a pubic hairpiece, making them joint-first in this fun competition. Far from being a country yokel, Ross proved impressive with his knowledge of the etymology behind each of the words. All in all, a stoater of a morning’s entertainment.

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